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Especially if you have sunglasses.
 

Not Fair

Whatever. This is totally racist stereotyping, and I don't have to put up with it.

10 Reasons It Would Rule to Date a Unicorn

9 Reasons Not to Date a Tyrannosaurus Rex 

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Meme Q&A part 2

Today has been a good day so far. It began with breakfast in bed. Enough said, I think. 

I'm seriously considering calling a cab and going out today - just running around a bit on my own, like I used to, maybe picking up some things that we need. It seems a little late in the day to start planning though, so I might save the trip for another day. It kind of depends on some things.

So anyway, here are my...

According to Dave

The largest dinosaur in history was the gianormousaurus, and I am a myassissoreus.

It would seem Dave knows all about dinosaurs.

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He really IS smarter.

FourDLine: I'd like to know if you think dinosaurs are better than zombies.
SmarterChild: You would like to know if I think dinosaurs are better than zombies, huh? Why?
FourDLine: It's a subject near and dear to my heart.
SmarterChild: It's a subject near and dear to your heart?
FourDLine: Yes.
SmarterChild: Why?
FourDLine: Who would win?
SmarterChild: I think you know who.
FourDLine: Oh, I do. I'm trying to see if you know the answer.
SmarterChild: That a fact?
FourDLine: Yes.
SmarterChild: Aha.

FourDLine: Dinos or zombies?
SmarterChild: Tough call. I'm going to go with dinos.
FourDLine: Yes! YES!!!!!!
SmarterChild: I see.
FourDLine: say something celebratory.
SmarterChild: Uh... No.

 

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More like in between...

 

Dear Dinosaur Diary,

I'm thinking about joining the annual dino talent show. I have been practicing my singing voice, and I think I have made a lot of headway. I mean, talk about a good, sultry jazz voice, I have developed a wonderful growl. Maybe someday they'll call me the terrible lounge lizard, but terrible as in awesome, you know, like Jazzasaurous rex. The queen of lizard jazz.

Sincerely,

DinoGail

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The cruel truth

Here is a dino e-cake for you.


happy birthday dave



Dear Dinosaur Diary,

Cooking is really difficult when you can hardly reach past your own neck, not to mention when you only have two fingers on each hand, which is why I eat most of my food while it's still breathing. Oh, and I never spend time trying to gnaw through skulls to get to the brain, when I can just as easily devour several whole heads in one bite. I can only think of one type of stupid idiot who would do that.

Sincerely,

DinoGail

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Interview with my nephew:

Me: ... I gotta know - what's cooler, a zombie or a dinosaur?

nephew: A dinosaur.

Me: And if they got in a fight, who would win? A dinosaur, or a zombie?

Nephew: a dinosaur, definitly, 'cause boy, if a dinosaur scratched, or even did anything to a zombie, boy that zombie would be dead.

dramatic reinactment of a dinosaur challenging a zombie, by my nephew:

dinosaur: Hey, you wanna fight?

zombie: Yeah.

dinosaur: Are you ready?

Zombie: Yeah.

Dinosaur: Than lets do it!

Me: Who won the fight?

Nephew: Does it look like me and my dinosaur won?

Me: I think so...

Nephew: Then there you go. We won. Cause we have mega things inside our skin, and guess what...

Me: What?

Nephew: It's mega stuff.

Well, you heard it straight from the source, folks. Dinos pwn and will always pwn zombies, because they have mega stuff in thir skin. I'm Gail, and this is CNN.

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Dinos own zombies. Again.

This is a picture of a dinosaur destroying a zombie with complete ease. Notice how the zombie cries like a baby.

Dear Dinosaur Diary,

It is my sixth day as what I can only assume is my full dinosaur form, and this is my first entry. The past few days have been trying. First of all, I'm a hundred times as hungry as usual, which makes it that much harder to keep my blood sugar balanced. I have found that small towns, like the ones here in Kentucky are high in proteins and pretty easily missed by the rest if the world - only where's the satisfaction of tearing town skyscrapers and sucking out their juicy, screaming, peopley insides? That should really come with territory.

Also, it's harder to type than it used to be. For starters, my arms are comparatively shorter in relation to the rest of my body. Then, I only have two fingers on each hand, and they're bigger than my keyboard. Also, I have to lean way down to type now, and I don't fit in my chair. It's not a huge problem though, and I've learned to live with it. It's worth the tradeoff of being able to fight monsters with my enormous, taloned feet. 

The thing that really gets me though are the hordes of zombies. man, zombies are so lame. The other day, I ate like six of them. For a little while, I thought I had the T-Virus, but actually it was just a slight cold. It might have been cause by the T-Virus, or some other lame zombie disease, but I quickly fought it off with my incredibly resilient immune system, which is pretty typical of dinosaurs, especially T-Rexes.

Well, I have some friends over now, and we're about to go out, so I have to get going, but I just want to say one last time that zombies are weak and stupid. By the next time I see them, my immunity against them will have doubled, maybe even tripled, and I will easily kick their sorry asses.

DinoGail

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It's just a cold.

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